a whole moment of happiness

dostoevsky ends white nights with a man who has lost the girl
asking whether one moment of happiness
isn’t enough for a whole human life.

i used to read that as consolation.

it isn’t. it’s a question.
he is asking because he does not know.
he is standing in an empty room
trying to talk himself into something.

that’s the whole book. not the love.
a man alone, doing the math,
hoping the answer comes out kind.